Dec 212011
 
2011-12-21_084253

In other countries, in particular in the United States and Great Britain, there are already well-structured and clearly visible bisexual communities. It is the result of a recent movement, which took its rise in the years 1980-1990. In France, this movement is still in its infancy. The first bisexual association, Bi'cause, was created in 1997 but already existed since 1995 under the name of 'group bi '. The international day of bisexuality, created in 1999 by militants bi Americans is celebrated in France since 2009, yet modestly. In short, alongside the strong communities gay and lesbian, bi is still community which emerge.

Bisexual themselves (the less many of those I've had the opportunity to listen to or read) does not always seem very optimistic about the future of a movement bi. Everything happens as if he were merely trying to live happily living hidden, or in any case without stirring much. And yet the bi have obviously need a community to them, of a movement that would be their own interests, outside and breast of a LGBT community which they share in part the fighting, but where it is necessary to hear a distinct voice. But why? Many reasons make me think this.

1. Because bisexuality and bisexuals are still invisible. Nowadays, homosexuality tends to take its place among the prospects of 'normal' life that young people have in mind to develop their identity and imagine their futures. Even though there is still work, the younger generations tend to integrate the fact that, when a boy, is not required to pay attention to girls, and when a girl interested in boys. The dominant culture is heterosexual, but we know that you can be gay, that it is not a disease, a tare or a default, it is possible, even if it is not yet seen as normal as could be hoped. Bisexuality, on the other hand, is something else. Because categorization of sexuality in sexual orientation much sliced and binary (heterosexuality is the exclusive desire for people of the opposite sex and homosexuality the desire just as exclusive for people of the same sex), any possible entre tends to be erased.

I will go so far as to say that it is perhaps more difficult to be bisexual (and design as such) these days there is a century or two, at times where there were no essentialist identity but simply practices. The present age is sexuality, a dictatorship of the boxes: there are two major categories, almost comparable to both sides or two worlds of carefully distinguished, where everyone is told to stand once and for all, on the basis of a kind of mystical revelation following a discovery of sexuality that engages the whole person. This is more 'I'm a boy and I like to go out with boys', it is 'I am gay' One does not become gay or straight, we are born, or then it is revealed to you once for all. It is a kind of intimate and ever-present truth, that binds you whole, and which, for some, would allow to read all integer (physics, tastes, ideas, vision of the world) on the basis of what you do in bed. Strange time!

This classification of smooth and well sliced suits everyone, at the bottom. Straight people are reassured: homos are decidedly not like us, they have their universe who has the right to exist but only to exist apart from our own, separate although equal... About homos, a good part of their culture, which is a counterculture, is built on the exaggeration of this difference and the development of values in voluntary break with those of the dominant culture. Here is distinguished the two opposing forces: my heterosexual camp my gay camp left right. It's simple, almost Manichean, and indecrottablement naive next to the complexity of the feelings and attractions that everyone experiences in reality, but it is essential for social peace, to strap in simplistic order.

Sometimes someone who discovers an attraction to both sexes. It goes nowhere. Each camp the sum to choose his own. He hesitates. It is not. It does recognize is nowhere. It frowns upon him, it accuses him of discharge, cowardice, treachery, double-game. Truth be told, unless he has the chance, on him don't say: 'you are IB', but: ' you are weird, choose! But the problem begins to arise well before. As someone who discovers attractions to the same sex will know today move without too many problems to the homosexual community, as someone who (in adolescence or much later) discovers attracted men short all risks may have never heard of bisexuality prior to experience. Even the books or the movies where he is, de facto, bisexuality, do not use this term and are not mentioned in these terms (except by the bi themselves). A character who, in a plot, Tomb love or made love with someone of the opposite sex and someone of the same sex is simply designed as a 'hetero which becomes gay' character, despite the shouting paradox of this statement. Everything is reduced to a binary hetero/homo or interpreted in these terms, even when the speech that results is an absurdity full. Nothing to wonder, then, that bisexuals have more harm than homosexuals to recognize what they are, namely, where to be!

Not only is it important to inform people that bisexuality exists, that it is possible and it is not more abnormal than the hetero - or homosexual, but it is important that bisexuals are visible and can be visible without having anything to fear, either outside or within the LGBT community. Because it must be understood that the community LGBT, the affirmation of homosexuality is in a dominant position, just as the affirmation of heterosexuality is outside the community. And as long as the bisexual won't give a voice, people who discover bi will continue to not dare to identify (or identify themselves openly) as such.

2. Because biphobia exists. The 'bi group' formed in 1995, precursor of the association Bi'cause, was created by bisexual women who had enough of being faced with the hostility of the lesbian in associations where they met before (this period of the early Bi'cause is detailed by Catherine Deschamps in his bisexual mirror book, published by Balland in 2002 - a fascinating book which I'll surely have the opportunity to talk about here). How to explain the biphobia? It is a complex issue that deserves a full ticket. I just here this example as evidence that there is indeed a form of discrimination specifically targeting LGBT people, and that this discrimination can be exercised not only heterosexual (supposed) environments, but also in the LGBT itself community.

Without having faced myself an open biphobia, I several times, discussing a certain distrust towards the bi on the part of gays and lesbians within LGBT, found associations. Fools exist, it should also do share things: this mistrust is generated in part by the lack of understanding of bisexuality. Ignorance is fertile ground for prejudice hostile, especially intellectual laziness and hasty shortcuts s'en mêlent, it's again a proof that it is essential that the bi speak and be known. And also, certainly, show that it is not acceptable to say anything about them.

3. Because there is a discomfort (or evil-beings) bi which necessitate proper chat rooms bi. Bisexuals who feel bad, there are many. I do not know if it is known (I think not, or not enough). But there are many. Two evidence in support of it.The first, read again in the bisexual mirror about the beginnings of the association Bi'cause. Catherine Deschamps observes in this regard p. 129:

The founders had unquestionably undervalued the impact of the discomfort of some participants on the activities of the group. While they believed their action above all in terms of offensive visibility and policy, "suffering" came claim social assistance: before considering any action claim, need support, surround and reassure.

Personally, I have known Bi'cause after the period of observations by Catherine Deschamps, and I only went for the moment just a few meetings at widely spaced intervals. but that was enough for to realize me that it is still true that many people come to the meeting of Bi'cause (in particular meetings ' Bi'envenue ', specially devoted to newcomers) not to argue, but first for a discussion area. In other words, to be listened to and to be able to discuss with other bi, people to whom it happened the same kind of things, who have experienced the same kind of situations and problems.

The second proof, these are multiple posts on the forum of the site Bisexualite.info (independent BI ' cause), I read for several years. Many people come because they are in a situation that is nothing - straight or gay - and they need to talk about elsewhere on gay forums. More importantly, they need to be. Of course, all become not activists bi with flag, meetings, etc. But they need a Word, an identity, that might give them an idea of what they are and allow them to talk about. On the psychological level, without being an expert on the subject (far from it), but to be passed by there myself and have read many similar accounts, then it is a great source of evil-be that to discover a double attraction in a context where it is ordered to be hetero, homo.

Outside these situations of discovery of bisexuality (which can obviously happen at any age of life, including past fifty, judging by the variety of people who come to speak on the forum), there are also many problems related to the couple, and that, if they BREW issues of loyalty and dialogue similar to those that can meet any couple (same-sex or different sexes)do not arise in the same terms for bisexual people.

Finally, it must not neglect nor the testimony of companions or companions of bisexual, which without be bi themselves, come to understand, to accompany, to overcome this concerns and sometimes their distrust towards their partner.

Meetings of Bi'cause as the Bisexualite.info forum are so invested functions almost therapeutic. The people of Bi'cause even had (still to read Catherine Deschamps) find qualified outsiders to meet this need of listening and counselling. This is not the case at all meetings, and this is not at all the case on the forum... but if it works, it is because, in such areas, the bi can finally talk openly about their problems other than in a grid of homo/hetero reading which is to not take into account the specific needs. Which brings me to my last point:

4. Because be bisexual, this is not 'just' be ' both homo and hetero". Some bi will tell you the opposite: they feel sometimes mode homo", sometimes" straight mode ". Except that the same shall willingly agree to they feel a constant attraction to both sexes, even if there are often fluctuations within this double general orientation and preferences. Or say ' both homo and hetero', it doesn't mean anything. Heterosexuality and homosexuality have defined and built by exclusion of other, in opposition to the other. And, even putting aside the share of cultural conflict I mentioned above (the need, both straight people than among gays, a clear and well determined opposition, but which turns out to be artificial), there is the undeniable fact that there are really people who are concerned that at one of the two sexes and have no way to take pleasure with each other *. But when it is attracted to both, cannot be defined by adding two mutually exclusive categories. When Ambidextrous, it is not "both right-handed and left-handed". When you are Métis, it is not "to both black and white"...

In many respects, the situation of LGBT people is unique and cannot be reduced to problems of the straight or gay. It calls for such an identity and a community culture that cannot repeat the same themes (for example, there are communities gay and lesbian recurring jokes about people of the opposite sex which, as bi, I do not recognize me absolutely: I am a man and I appreciate the body of men, but I feel pretty foreign for example to the jokes of gays on the strangeness or the ugliness of the female body...) more generally, there is a proportion of sexes in the gay and lesbian communities who does not - for discussion with other bi - what a bi can wait as the sociable type).

Let us be clear: it goes without saying that the fighting of the bi are quite a lot of titles the same as those of homosexuals, both the wedding on the adoption or the access to the blood donation. But it is important that a proper identity bi can assert themselves and be recognized as separate. Otherwise, problems specific to the bi will never be taken into account, with all the discomfort and the unfortunate consequences that this does not lead to.

In a word: bi, express yourself, do you know, do you hear, everyone needs!

* The assertion that «in fact everybody is bisexual» is in this respect, in my opinion, a myth, a pure artifice of the nascent bisexual rhetoric: but this is not because we need to assert that it must fall into such excesses!

The biplane» why a bi community need

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