This is a story of wonder, understanding and appreciation. I was first approached by a guy at the age of 12. It didn’t make much sense to me then. I was confused. I took it as a joke and brushed it off. All I knew at that time was that love existed only between male and female. However, my perception of a one-dimensional world changed and I started to study human behaviour.
It was with that curiosity that I learnt to keep an open mind. At 13, I met Daniel (name changed) who is still a friend to this day. From far, one could tell Daniel was different. He was outspoken, well groomed and appreciated the social circle of girls. This uniqueness landed him some nasty names but it never bothered him. I wondered if he could be gay, then that’s when the realisation of homophobia came. I thought to myself, at the time a Christian, how could God allow such people to exist? There I was comparing my heterosexual pleasures to what I envisioned as gay, at it developing some form of spite. Daniel took a transfer from school; I always thought it was due to the hostile environment. As I grew up and learnt more of Christianity, I developed a firm misunderstanding that Homosexuality was evil. When I got to senior school, once again fate decided to test me. I got a class with Gabriel (name changed).
Everybody from the start suspected Gabriel to be gay but nobody had proof. It was as if he would be burnt to the stake had he confessed of it. We became friends despite the status quo. At the end of our senior years, Gabriel approached me and told me he had feelings for me. It upset me, I felt somewhat betrayed. This was the same guy who knew about my relationships. The guy who hooked me up with a few girls, how could he risk losing me as a friend over his pathetic (as I thought of it) feelings. I went on a rampage. Posting on his wall ridiculing him but he never retaliated.
I parted ways with him, promised myself never to see, and talked to him ever. In my mind, this was the right thing. 1Corinthians 6-7 was the scripture I used in my defence. I was told not to judge yet the scripture says I shouldn’t walk with evil man. How would I know evil man when I am told not to judge? It was overwhelming.
So one day I took a trip to the cattle post. There, I isolated myself for two months. Alone, I internalised on the meaning of life. I put myself to the test of mental disturbance, loneliness and psychological disorientation. It is then, that I fully understood the pain of being an outcast to society. From there I never looked back. I apologised to Gabriel and luckily, he forgave me. My life is happier now, and I love my gay friends as my heterosexual friends. Homophobia is an Evil.